Iran to Replace Morality Police with Slightly Less Authoritarian Vibe Monitors, Says Attorney General

In a groundbreaking move to modernize and overhaul its system of law enforcement, the Iranian government has announced plans to replace its controversial “morality police” with a new force of “vibe monitors.” Speaking at a press conference this morning, the country’s Attorney General outlined the specifics of the plan and how it is expected tomerge traditionalenforcementwith a more contemporary approach.

The morality police have long been criticized for their heavy-handedapproach, and while their presence on the streets is still necessary to preserve public order, Iran’s leaders felt that it was time to update their methods. The new “vibe monitors” will be tasked with keeping an eye on the tone, aura and atmosphere of different locations and situations, ensuring that everyone remains civil and respectful. “We want our citizens to know that enforcing morality will take place in a much less authoritarian way,” said the Attorney General.

The vibe monitors will not carry weapons, but will be equipped with advanced sensors that can detect negative emotions such as anger and aggression from up to 50 meters away. Should these feelings rise above acceptable levels, an alarm will sound alerting nearby authorities so that they can intervene accordingly.

Although it remains to be seen how effective this new approach will be in preserving public order, the government is optimistic that it will provide a more humane form of law enforcement – as well as having other benefits such as making visitors feel safer in public spaces. So far no date has been set for when the new monitors will be deployed.

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